Aihe vapaa En tiiä saatana

[qualitymonkey]

Miten se voi tuntua normaalimmalta?

 

[qualitymonkey]

It just felt so... Like... I dont know

 

[qualitymonkey]

I just don't know

Just feels so much easier thinking of myself as a trans guy pre t.

Just thinking. Doesn't mean i necessarily am but as a coping mechanism. Just thinking about it that way.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Mä yritän ratkasta kaiken odottamalla

Koska tiedän et se ratkasee kaiken. Muuta keinoa ei ole. Valitettavasti. Mutta edes se

 

[qualitymonkey]

En tiedä yhtään mitä mun pitää tehdä mutta ei mua kyllä edes haittaa.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Isnt it weird how you have to do everything like ur brain tells you to? Like ur brain just controls everything. Ur brain tells you to do something and you do, even if it makes no sense.

 

[qualitymonkey]

I dont know

 

[qualitymonkey]

Like your brain tells you to waste your time and you do

Your brain tells you to be unhappy with your body and you need to be unhappy.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Your brain tells you to be not satisfied

 

[qualitymonkey]

Like whatever happens you always have to follow your brain

 

[qualitymonkey]

And your ocd things

 

[qualitymonkey]

About your body

 

[qualitymonkey]

It tells you how you should behave and think and feel

 

[qualitymonkey]

But i dont know but anyways

 

[qualitymonkey]

Interesting by the way.

The saying "boy trapped in a girls body" really sounds accurate

or just

Trapped in a girls body.


Cause its a girls body, yet i dont want to claim it and i dont want it to be me.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Its so true

 

[qualitymonkey]

I just don't want to think about it

 

[qualitymonkey]

Because if i think about myself as a boy trapped in a girls body i feel better.

 

[qualitymonkey]

By the way

I think its because i dont want to sound proud about being a girl

If i said that im a girl

It sounds like i want to be a girl

But if i say im a boy trapped in a girls body

It sounds like im not proud, its just that... It went wrong.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Every time girls say they are girls

It sounds automatically like they are proud of it

But if its a trans man

When he says hes a trans man then he of course doesn't sound proud about being female

 

[qualitymonkey]

So i guess ill have to start referring to myself as a trans man or something 🤦🏻

 

[qualitymonkey]

Whatever

I dont care about anything

Im way beyond caring about anything im just depressed and want to die

 

[qualitymonkey]

But because of eunkwang I kinda don't cause i really really, really love him so much

 

[qualitymonkey]

Um

Can i escape?

 

[qualitymonkey]

Maybe?

 

[qualitymonkey]

Um, why do we have this song here?

 

[qualitymonkey]

Its just scary because of eunkwang etc.

 

[qualitymonkey]

"Nainen on täysikasvuinen naarassukupuolta oleva ihminen.[1] Kasvuiässä oleva naispuolinen henkilö on tyttö. "

Ällöttävää, oksettavaa.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Mies on täysikasvuinen koirassukupuolta oleva ihminen.[1] Kasvuiässä oleva miespuolinen henkilö on poika.


Tästähän ei sitten tuu ollenkaan samaa.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Jospa voisin ymmärtää miksi näin on.