Hakutulokset

Was i in? Nope, not truly

What i wanted to do? Quit talking. What i did? Answer because i wanted to be polite and please people.

If that sounds okay..... Then okay...

There were so many times i just wanted to fucking quit but i was too polite

Similar siihen et niiku if i look at a child and have an ocd thought. Then do you think i have ACTUAL feelings for a child? Nope :D its an ocd thought. It doesnt mean i have actual feelings for a child. Se kokemus tuntuu similar. Silleen yes that happened and all, but do you think i ACTUALLY...

Now idk if that was somehow caused by ocd? Could be, since i want to please people ALWAYS. but i dont know. Almost like it was some sort of reaction which wasnt truly me, if that makes any sense.

It ALMOST feels like ocd If i have an inappropriate thought its not me Its ocd, not me. I feel sort of similar about that whole experience.

So it cant be an actual good experience

Even now when i think about it i just feel this sense of coldness and nothing else

Kinda similar like the masturbating and sexting stuff, like literally that wasnt me Ofc it was me but it wasnt real I didn't enjoy it in reality Deep down i didn't enjoy it and in a way that wasnt me It was some sort of reaction which didn't feel true somehow

If i ever did that id be like possessed by a demon or something because seriously thats not something i would ever do

Thats literally not me

If i suddenly started to have sex but idk

I feel like i wouldnt even be me anymore

It would break me??

just a thought idk

Id kill myself rather than have sex tbh

My biggest fear is me actually dating eunkwang and realizing i was never ace i would kms

my whole life i thought i was some sort of ace and fuck you what if i actually DO REALIZE IT LATER OH MY GOD ID DIE

WHAT IF I FUCKING DO