Aihe vapaa En tiiä saatana

[qualitymonkey]

No

Like

If he created me female (and all the other females) then it must mean that he saw something good about it


Wait no no no

No seriously why did he create murderers?????? Ahhhhh this makes me question it.

I mean i believe in god because what bm said + en muutenkaan oo pitkään aikaan oikein pystynyt uskomaan sattuman olemassaoloon mutta öööh omituista

 

[qualitymonkey]

See i dont... Get it.

 

[qualitymonkey]

See because i dont know

I guess i have to accept i don't like it. I still don't.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Im never ever going to like it.

I hate it with all my being

 

[qualitymonkey]

En tiedä mistä kumpuaa näin syvä viha siihen mutta näin nyt kuitenkin on

 

[qualitymonkey]

" I am a butch lesbian. I live with gender dysphoria. This is the condition which, according to mental health professionals, means I am transgender"


See idk

But this is what i mean. Maybe its because it's not who i am. I'm just so masculine that it's just not who i am. Thats why i experience gender dysphoria? Even in a bra i kinda feel like im in drag or something. Im just so manly that its difficult to see myself as a girl. Ehkä siitä tulee se konflikti loppujen lopuksi.

And I feel like that's what ive always been.

 

[qualitymonkey]

I was always a masculine girl who happened to like guys though (and unfortunately also girls but that's not the point, the point is that i always liked guys, always)

 

[qualitymonkey]

And i was always a masculine girl

 

[qualitymonkey]

So....

If it's not who i am...... Maybe that's the reason.

It's just not who i am really.

I just

See i dont know what's this masculine energy it's just automatic i feel?

It's not something i choose like clothes it's just something that comes out of me somehow

Because some girls just have it. I dont think it's clothes. I think it's energy or something.

It's just more about who you are and not clothes at all.

If masculine is what I am.... Deep down. And NOT feminine.

Then is it weird that i also have gender dysphoria? I'm NOT feminine. Why do i have periods ? Im NOT feminine. Why do i own bras? Like what are they doing in my room??? That's not who i am. Im NOT feminine. Why can i get pregnant? Ei se oo ollenkaan luonnollista.

Luulen et tää saattaa olla asian ydin.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Its like putting on a show. Like acting.

 

[qualitymonkey]

It's not me. At all. It feels like a HUGE mistake.