Aihe vapaa En tiiä saatana

[qualitymonkey]

No

Like

If he created me female (and all the other females) then it must mean that he saw something good about it


Wait no no no

No seriously why did he create murderers?????? Ahhhhh this makes me question it.

I mean i believe in god because what bm said + en muutenkaan oo pitkään aikaan oikein pystynyt uskomaan sattuman olemassaoloon mutta öööh omituista

 

[qualitymonkey]

See i dont... Get it.

 

[qualitymonkey]

See because i dont know

I guess i have to accept i don't like it. I still don't.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Im never ever going to like it.

I hate it with all my being

 

[qualitymonkey]

En tiedä mistä kumpuaa näin syvä viha siihen mutta näin nyt kuitenkin on

 

[qualitymonkey]

" I am a butch lesbian. I live with gender dysphoria. This is the condition which, according to mental health professionals, means I am transgender"


See idk

But this is what i mean. Maybe its because it's not who i am. I'm just so masculine that it's just not who i am. Thats why i experience gender dysphoria? Even in a bra i kinda feel like im in drag or something. Im just so manly that its difficult to see myself as a girl. Ehkä siitä tulee se konflikti loppujen lopuksi.

And I feel like that's what ive always been.

 

[qualitymonkey]

I was always a masculine girl who happened to like guys though (and unfortunately also girls but that's not the point, the point is that i always liked guys, always)

 

[qualitymonkey]

And i was always a masculine girl

 

[qualitymonkey]

So....

If it's not who i am...... Maybe that's the reason.

It's just not who i am really.

I just

See i dont know what's this masculine energy it's just automatic i feel?

It's not something i choose like clothes it's just something that comes out of me somehow

Because some girls just have it. I dont think it's clothes. I think it's energy or something.

It's just more about who you are and not clothes at all.

If masculine is what I am.... Deep down. And NOT feminine.

Then is it weird that i also have gender dysphoria? I'm NOT feminine. Why do i have periods ? Im NOT feminine. Why do i own bras? Like what are they doing in my room??? That's not who i am. Im NOT feminine. Why can i get pregnant? Ei se oo ollenkaan luonnollista.

Luulen et tää saattaa olla asian ydin.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Its like putting on a show. Like acting.

 

[qualitymonkey]

It's not me. At all. It feels like a HUGE mistake.

 

[qualitymonkey]

"
That IS gender dysphoria.

Trans people don’t want to be trans, no one wants to be trans. (Binary) Trans people want to be a cis person of the opposite sex."

EXACTLY

i want to be a cis man. Absolutely not a trans man. I'm not even going to transition ever. I only want to be a cis man, nothing else.

 

[qualitymonkey]

OR DO I

 

[qualitymonkey]

I think I just had a similar feeling about having a beard than woman things

Not what i have, that doesn't bother me i think

But an actual beard

Oh so... What does that mean?????? Maybe I dont want to be male either? Maybe i dont want to be female or male?

Maybe i just want to be a neutral gender but THATS. NOT. POSSIBLE.

 

[qualitymonkey]

See because i hate living as a female

I absolutely hate and despise it.

But

I dont want to be male either. It doesn't feel right. If i had an actual beard i think id feel embarrassed or something? So apparently that's not right either.

So gender neutral. But see, that is not possible. No one is born gender neutral and I'll always be female. There's no changing it.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Time-lehden artikkelissa kirjoitettiin jo vuosia sitten, että on syntynyt uusi naistyyppi muiden joukkoon. Uusi naisen malli ei tee lapsia, mutta tuntee elämänsä siitä huolimatta täyteläiseksi. Kulttuuri on muuttunut. Nainen – ja mies – voi itse valita yhä laajemmin, kuinka elää.

Mielenkiintoista

 

[qualitymonkey]

My god this is such bs

 

[qualitymonkey]

They don't fucking match

Cause im gnc it just doesn't match this feminine stuff

 

[qualitymonkey]

And by feminine stuff i mean vagina

 

[qualitymonkey]

They don't match im here like "bruh" and have a feminine body part like a vagina... Aint no way......

 

[qualitymonkey]

So difficult

 

[qualitymonkey]

Its humiliating

 

[qualitymonkey]

When what you actually are is masculine but.......... It just doesn't match

It's so ridiculous that im so butch and i actually have the most feminine body shape there is (not straight but curvy)

No wonder i have a conflict

 

[qualitymonkey]

A masculine woman

A feminine man

Is it really a wonder that both can have a conflict with their gender? A feminine man hating his manhood and a masculine woman hating her womanhood. It does make sense, really.

 

[qualitymonkey]

I feel like a fucking clown for having this stuff that doesn't seem to belong to me 🤡

 

[qualitymonkey]

THATS why its humiliating

If i was actually a feminine woman. It wouldn't be humiliating.

 

[qualitymonkey]

But thats not me

 

[qualitymonkey]

Seriously

Every time i wear something feminine i feel like im in drag or something

I'm just not feminine so..... It's pointless to pretend.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Me anytime i remember I'm female:

 

[qualitymonkey]

Gender dysphoria test:
Slight Indication of Gender Dysphoria







SLIGHT INDICATION OF GENDER DYSPHORIA 😂😂😂😂

no okei mut se on siks ku mul on tää genderfluid taipumus ja vastasin että oon vuoden aikana usein ollu tyytyväinen mun syntymäsukupuoleen.

Niinhän mä olinkin! Ja about yhtä usein super tyytymätön. Viime aikoina en oo ollu tyytyväinen ollenkaan mut jossain vaiheessa olin, ja sillonkin kyllä myös en ollu. Molempia aika tasaisesti.



I mean

I think

I dont always have gender dysphoria. But when i do it's sometimes very severe. And sometimes mild. And sometimes nothing. Sometimes its even gender euphoria from the same gender i was dysphoric about.

But the severe dysphoria is what's killing me.

Yeah seems genderfluid and i hate life like this