Aihe vapaa En tiiä saatana

[qualitymonkey]

Google-kuvahaun tulos kohteessa https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/hBCisBj_YXV4MJTJ5yeA5qcjTt6PQCKY5-cR2-cUBPe8OAghH1rWM3DWIvABwuYSw_ftWXVbFwKDsz3GEWH-MEOzZXtkHIbaQQ0=nu-e365-rj-q80-w925

images.app.goo.gl

In korea when youre slim youre called fat.

Thats it. I cant be with eunkwang :D it would kill me if anyone knew about that. Eunkwang is one thing, maybe just maybe he isnt a crazy freak like most of them, but if anyone knew about us being together? It would kill me. And not just me being chubby (like actually chubby, not slim like that woman in the Picture) but my whole appearance otherwise. Im definitely not ready, and never will be, for anybody to know. So yeah, if i could be with him and nobody knew about it, then maybe. But if everyone is going to know and take pictures of me and say how ugly i am and eunkwang shouldnt be with me cause im so ugly (i mean that could very easily happen) then no.

I dont think i could take it.

But i thought it was supposed to be true :D lol i really believed and still do but how could i? I couldnt. I couldnt take it. I wouldnt want anyone to know, obviously. For my safety and because of my appearance. It would be hell if they took pics of me and then everyone would just slam my appearance. I ALREADY think im ugly. I could never......... 😂

 

[qualitymonkey]

And tbh it doesnt even take DATING KWANG to think im ugly, i already feel ugly even when i read about how everyone (netizens) called swan ugly and shes skinnier than me. And everyone fucking called her ugly. Like am i also so fucking disgusting? The whole of korea would think im fucking ugly if i ever for example just traveled there :D jokainen vastaantulija olis sillee hyiiiiiiiii mikä ruma läski :D en liiottele koska totta vitussa suurin osa ihmisistä ajattelis siellä niin.

 

[qualitymonkey]

And not just korea

Me kaikki tiedämme että jokaisessa maassa on ihmisiä joiden mielestä oon vitun ruma

 

[qualitymonkey]

Varmaan joidenkin mielestä kauniskin mutta vittuuks sil on väliä

I feel damn ugly :D

 

[qualitymonkey]

LMAO

like yeah

I know im disgusting

Thank you very much you dont have to tell me i already know

 

[qualitymonkey]

+ mulla on normaalipainoisen bmi mut tietysti se ei riitä siihen että olis kaunis

 

[qualitymonkey]

Ei alkuunkaan :D

 

[qualitymonkey]

Joskus mietin miks edes kuuntelen kpoppia. Se musiikki on hyvää mut tää asia työntää mua aina välillä kauemmas ja oon silleen etten ees haluu olla missään tekemisissä sellasen asian kanssa kun kpop

 

[qualitymonkey]

Then again, if only it was just kpop

 

[qualitymonkey]

Hollywood is the same, literally

 

[qualitymonkey]

So, the world and people suck

 

[qualitymonkey]

What am i doing in this world lol

 

[qualitymonkey]

Focusing on weight loss can serve as protection. If you're constantly focusing on needing to lose weight then intense emotions or old wounds don't have space to be attended to. If the urge to lose weight was released, that would mean everything that has been shoved down and stuffed away inside your body would have space to arise. This might unconsciously feel so incredibly overwhelming that it feels safer to continue to focus on needing to lose weight.

Mood

 

[qualitymonkey]

Or maybe not but still i have that need to lose weight

"Oh if my bmi could just be 24"

And then after that

"Oh if my bmi could just be 23"

And so on

 

[qualitymonkey]

That is how anorexia starts

Mut mul se ei vaan oo viel menny siihen syömisen rajottamiseen

Ei ainakaan niin että en söisi ihan normaaleja aterioita paitsi toki joskus

Mut se ei oo kokoaikaista

 

[qualitymonkey]

Eli en syö mitenkään kovin vähän

Mul on vain ainoastaan se tarve laihtua

Mutta en kuitenkaan oo sillein vähentänyt syömistä

En ainakaan vielä

 

[qualitymonkey]

Kun oot normaalipainoinen ja sulla on tarve laihtua, lol

 

[qualitymonkey]

I guess kpop got to me

 

[qualitymonkey]

"You are perfect the way you are. Change your perspective, look up to healthy weight celebrities, look at Beyonce, she's gained a bit of weight but she flaunts it and she is loved by millions"

Beyonce? LMAO

why the fuck you think i can feel similar to Beyonce

When was she fat?

When was she bmi 24.9? Lmao, never. I dont think she was??

 

[qualitymonkey]

I dont think she was ever quite as fat as me

 

[qualitymonkey]

But priscilla block is, fatter than me

Yet i think: so? I still wish to be thinner

 

[qualitymonkey]

Hahhh

I mean 24.9 on oikeesti jo mulle sen verran alhainen että oon yhä aika hämmentynyt ja shokissa siitä että mulla voi olla noin alhainen

Joten en ymmärrä miksei sekään riitä :D

 

[qualitymonkey]

Its so wild that im basically in my lowest weight now

Like i have never been 62 kg for example

Tak siis nytten kun oon näitä tässä merkkaillu

Niin en oo ollu ikinä

Ja nyt oon 63,70 niin se on basically mun lowest weight mitä nyt tiedän siitä mitä oon merkannu.

Ja varmaan ainakin mun lowest weight ever, Tässä pituudessa.

Literally my lowest weight ever in this height and i still want a lower weight? Pls.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Dont be a fool

 

[qualitymonkey]

I was at least 76 kg

Now im 63,70

And im still not happy with it? What the hell????

 

[qualitymonkey]

I should be at this point?

 

[qualitymonkey]

Nevermind oon tällä hetkellä 64.2

Just katoin

 

[qualitymonkey]

Eli 25.1 bmi

 

[qualitymonkey]

Joka tapauksessa oon tosi hoikka VERRATTUNA siihen mitä olin

 

[qualitymonkey]

En siis ollenkaan tajua miksen ole tyytyväinen:D

Probably because of kpop or something xD

But the music is good :(