Aihe vapaa En tiiä saatana

[qualitymonkey]

Question: why does beautiful pain remind me more of that time, when only one for me was also there? :D for some reason tajusin just yhtä videota kattoessani että kyllä, beautiful pain vie mut enemmän siihen aikaan jostain ihmeen syystä

 

[qualitymonkey]

Waah

He will never like me tbh :D

I am too fat. Its true. We all know it. He would never. Now can i move on from him finally? Everyone knows im too fat for most koreans and yes, even for him. Its pretty obvious. Now if i could just forget him that would be nice.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Like

Im not too fat in general

Im just too fat for him to like me, thats all

And i dont give a shit because ill forget him at some point

 

[qualitymonkey]

Then i can live my best life without any men 😍😍😍😍😍

 

[qualitymonkey]

Fucking hell

I only wanna surround myself with fat celebrities (fat like myself) because i cant take it anymore.

 

[qualitymonkey]

I immediately feel so so so much better when i look at a person whos fat like me

 

[qualitymonkey]

I dont feel good when i look at kpop idols

 

[qualitymonkey]

Except shindong

Thought he lost weight but apparently hes a bit bigger again?

 

[qualitymonkey]

PFFFFTTTTTT im only going to listen to suju now 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

 

[qualitymonkey]

Im so close to developing anorexia XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

actually, i dont think im going to restrict my eating

But i might start walking every day

Well, its not a bad thing, if i want to do that, but will it at some point develop into actual anorexia?

And since my bmi is 25.1 and if i lose some weight, then when will i stop?

If i start walking more, i might lose weight. But will i stop losing the weight? Or will i still feel too fat, like VERY fat at like if i reached a bmi of 24 for example

Lets think about that

 

[qualitymonkey]

I feel scared to eat atm even though im hungry 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 this is the start of an eating disorder

 

[qualitymonkey]

"😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂"

 

[qualitymonkey]

Lolllllllllolololol

 

[qualitymonkey]

If you or a loved one are expressing some of these emotional symptoms, it doesn't necessarily mean they're early signs of anorexia, but they likely indicate that some type of deeper problem is in play:3

Dressing in layers to hide body changes or stay warm
Preoccupation with weight, food, calories, fat grams, and dieting
Restrictive eating
Frequent self-judgment about body shape and size
Denying feeling hungry
Developing food rituals
Cooking meals for others without eating
Avoiding mealtimes or situations involving food
Maintaining an excessive, rigid exercise regimen despite weather, fatigue, illness, or injury
Becoming reclusive
Concerned about eating in public
Limited social spontaneity
Intense fear of gaining weight
Disturbed experience of body weight or shape, undue influence of weight or shape on self-evaluation, or inability to perceive body size accurately
Feeling ineffective
Has a strong need for control
Has overly restrained initiative and emotional expression




I have several

But i dont care

 

[qualitymonkey]

Well, a few

 

[qualitymonkey]

What im now: Bmi 25.1

Mihin olisin tyytyväinen: idk tasan 20 tai jotain???????????

Joo okei :DDDDDD you have serious issues thats all im saying

Ofc i know that though

 

[qualitymonkey]

Niinkun etten vaikka joku 22 ei edes riittäis siihen varmaankaan että olisin tyytyväinen

 

[qualitymonkey]

No voisinpa edes olla silleen että mun ideal bmi olis 24 niin voisin laihuttaa siihen ja lopettaa

Mutta kun se on 20 ja tuskin sekään vielä lopulta riittäis

 

[qualitymonkey]

Eunkwang is literally the one who makes me feel this bad

I swear

I swear hes the reason why i wanna lose weight

And also masatoshi

Its not even about meeting them either

Its just the fact that i have thoughts of them so often that it creates a need in me, to lose weight so that i would be beautiful. Its not at all about meeting them but its about this image i have about whats pretty, you know.

 

[qualitymonkey]

But how the HELL can i get over them 😂 if they are the ones who cause it

Or maybe its actually something else

I dont know?

 

[qualitymonkey]

Naah

 

[qualitymonkey]

Oikeastaan

Im proud of not looking like everyone else, like this:

 

[qualitymonkey]

I actually dont want to look like that

 

[qualitymonkey]

I actually want to be bigger thqn thqt

 

[qualitymonkey]

Than that*

 

[qualitymonkey]

And i am

 

[qualitymonkey]

Everyone looks the same in music industry and its pretty boring to me

 

[qualitymonkey]

Actually... Thank god i look like this

Actually, thank god im overweight

Hyvä tää vuorottelu kyl :D overweight -> healthy weight -> overweight -> healthy weight jne.

 

[qualitymonkey]

I constantly go below and over that line

 

[qualitymonkey]

Eehh