Aihe vapaa En tiiä saatana

[qualitymonkey]

?

 

[qualitymonkey]

Tai sitten en mutta ainakin dysforian läpikäynyt nainen

 

[qualitymonkey]

Mikä on ihan helvetin eri kuin normaali cis nainen

 

[qualitymonkey]

Nimittäin dysforia on suhteellisen harvinaista cis ihmisillä

 

[qualitymonkey]

Mutta meitäkin on

Ja mun dysforia loppui äsken ainakin toistaiseksi

 

[qualitymonkey]

Nyt on taas ihan hyvä ja identifioidun kylläkin naiseksi

 

[qualitymonkey]

BRO AND IF I FUCKING BURST INTO FLAMES BECAUSE JOOST, MASATOSHI, EUNKWANG

 

[qualitymonkey]

BRO AND IF I FUCKING BURST INTO FLAMES




I WILL JUMP lmao

 

[qualitymonkey]

Its just all too much

 

[qualitymonkey]

Miks aina pitää yrittää

 

[qualitymonkey]

En haluu enää yrittää

 

[qualitymonkey]

Google Image Result for https://64.media.tumblr.com/a160e3b6f998ff24b855ceaf3291857f/tumblr_inline_nx75bbZQsR1s8qmo1_400.gif

 

[qualitymonkey]

Ei todellakaan ole hyvä

 

[qualitymonkey]

Im panicking

 

[qualitymonkey]

Haluun pois täältä

(Tästä sukupuolesta)

 

[qualitymonkey]

Nyt

 

[qualitymonkey]

I want to get away from my gender

 

[qualitymonkey]

Detrans timelines are so good though

 

[qualitymonkey]

For me

 

[qualitymonkey]

Because i see a similar person to me: if its ftmtf there are pictures of a female person who couldn't help but be born as a female, then had a sort of crisis, but goes back to female.

Like i just see a similar person to me: an actual female but someone who really feels really really bad and doesn't want to be female but actually still is.

Its just the same.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Like i really really really really really don't want to be that

If i could choose

But i cant cause i still am

But i dont want to

Id do anything to not be

Id do ANYTHING to be a man instead.

Anything else than this

I just hopelessly want to get away from my own gender. Hopelessly. Like please give me anything that helps this pain and panic. Especially the panic like seriously.





I was a normal child (yeah, "normal") and then suddenly like i dont remember what day it was or what year it even was when i first had this thought but at some point i just knew vulvas are unnatural but that thought never surfaced before.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Like one day i just knew they were unnatural and i haven't been able to... See it as natural ever since

In my mind they are like some deformed things

And they happen to smell really bad (every single one, i just cannot stand the smell of any fucking vulva)

And they make your underwear wet which is really embarrassing

"In my mind they are like some deformed things"
Bdd? Sounds bdd?

 

[qualitymonkey]

I can imagine a world free of misogyny.




I wouldn't be trans. "Trans"




I wouldn't be trans at all.

I would be happy and i wouldn't even question the naturality of my own body.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Its not natural to me

Anymore

Or maybe it never really was

 

[qualitymonkey]

Not sure

 

[qualitymonkey]

Lol even just thinking about Eunkwang triggers it

I was trying to just watch a normal btob vid for once

Then i was like ooooooooooo i want him to be my boyfriend

But then i was like i dont even want to be his girlfriend but his boyfriend but I would want to be a cis man, not trans man. Then maybe i would feel my body is natural.

I dont wanna be his girlfriend.

So i cant even think about my crush 😂 the one thing i thought would lead my thoughts away from here.

 

[qualitymonkey]

I never want to be a girlfriend or wife

Biggest nightmare

 

[qualitymonkey]

You know what?


I might be a bigot

But for some reason i dont believe in transness anymore. Like at all. Like as a concept

I believe in gender dysphoria and i have it, but i don't believe in transness

I might be wrong but I feel like this





I feel like there isn't errors and mistakes in your sex. If youre male youre male, if youre female you're female, if youre other you're other. But i just dont believe in transness. I believe in sex only. Maybe im wrong, i just feel like this.

I feel like everyone is what they are born as, but can absolutely experience gender dysphoria and many do.


For some its so extreme that they want to die.

I still feel like gender dysphoria is just some sort of evil delusion that wants to take your life away, isnt the truth but it seems impossible to beat.

Like i genuinely feel like i have an illness. A bad one. I dont............ I dont believe in transness as a concept, but........... But i will never be okay again, also.

 

[qualitymonkey]

I genuinely feel im not able to beat this dysphoria

It will just always be with me. Maybe

 

[qualitymonkey]

"but lots of people figure it out later, including 50s/60s/70s"

Woah

Yeah i was 22

Like that's late onset gender dysphoria


BUT

i WILL have to live as a girl, that ill tell you. Like i dont care. I will have to live as a girl



Im choosing the life of misery.

Yes, i am choosing the life of misery.