Aihe vapaa En tiiä saatana

[qualitymonkey]

But right now? Definitely not.

 

[qualitymonkey]

I think me and my gender are absolutely unnatural

 

[qualitymonkey]

Female genitals are unnatural

 

[qualitymonkey]

Mut also mua todella hämmentää miten se voi olla näin syvää jos se on misogyniaa eikä esim trans juttuja. Tai miten mikään voi näin syvää epätoivoa olla? Ihan outoa???? En ymmärrä mistä näin äärimmäisen jotenkin syvä halveksunta tulee. Se ei oo ees sellasta normaalia misogyniaa mitä tosi monella naisella on. Vaan toi on jotain joka päivä elämään vaikuttavaa ja sellasta mitä oikeesti itkee. Eikä vaan sellasta lievää et on vaan jtn ajatusmalleja et "i think women cant do some demanding jobs" tai jotain tollasta. Toiha on lievää misogyniaa mut jos se on äärimmäisen syvää vihaa inhoa halveksuntaa häpeää ja epätoivoa ja synkkyyttä ja sitä itkee usein. Et siit tulee kehodysforiaa ja muuta ja jopa lowkey itsetuhoisuutta ja kaikkee muuta.

Niin se on kyl epätavallisen syvää.

 

[qualitymonkey]

En oikein ymmärrä

Voisko se olla syy tähän kun päiväkodissa mulle sanottiin jotain siitä ettei tytöllä kuulu olla harmaanväristä paitaa ja kaikilla muilla tytöillä oli jotain muuta väriä :D olin se joka erottui sit jotenkin muista tytöistä poikamaisena koska mulla oli harmaa paita : D

Siis se oli toinen lapsi joka sano sen mulle. Ei aikuinen.


Mielenkiintosta.

Tai sitten ne muutamat kerrat ku mua luultiin pojaks.


Vai mikä tän oikeen vois aiheuttaa? Mä en kieltämättä oikein ymmärrä, onhan sille joku syy oltava, ja varsinkin meinaan miks se on niin syvää.

 

[qualitymonkey]

How i know im not trans:
Kun mua luultiin pojaks niin mua ei haitannut mutta en mä ollu silleen "mähän oonki poika"

Joten en kyllä trans ole. Koska en sillon ollut silleen. Jos olisin trans niin eiköhän olis tiennyt olevansa poika sillon.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Thats how i know this is just something else

Jotain arvostuksen puutetta mut en silti vaan ymmärrä miksi.


Ymmärtäisin jos ois joku sellanen keissi et vanhemmat ois halunnu pojan ja sit aina syyllistää siitä, se ois selkee syy. Mut täs ei oo mitään sellasta selkeetä syytä

 

[qualitymonkey]

Nettikommentit?

 

[qualitymonkey]

Kuitenki

I miss eunkwang

Eiku

Älä taas aloita

 

[qualitymonkey]

God im so tired after 11 hours of staying awake

 

[qualitymonkey]

On average, humans are awake for about 16 to 18 hours per day.

Idk you mean i shouldn't be tired yet? Its always tai yleensäkin viimeistään 11 tunnin päästä heräämisestä ku alan olla melkein tappoväsynyt

 

[qualitymonkey]

Kilpirauhasen vajaatoimintaaaaa

 

[qualitymonkey]

I feel sort of better being a misogynist because at least i feel ashamed. At least i feel ashamed and don't think I'm something special or anything like that. At least I'm not happy with my gender. Or actually sex. At least i know how to be ashamed of it, like i should. Like every female should??? En vieläkään ymmärrä niitä jotka ei?

 

[qualitymonkey]

Like i dont think I have any self appreciation left

 

[qualitymonkey]

Like at least i KNOW how disgusting i am

 

[qualitymonkey]

"also wasn't there a research about how when we are attracted to someone we genuinely like their smell (even if its freaking sweat) while we find the odor of someone we dont like disgusting?"

Täh? Then why all these males saying that vaginas smell bad? So youre not attracted to your girlfriends, now i see.

Maybe i have hope, although i think its so disgusting that i find it hard to believe. The scariest part is that sometimes i can smell it myself when im just normally sitting. So if someone is close to me like cuddling.. wouldn't he also smell it? Nii sit im just so scared. Like id have to try to hide it cause im so scared that he would smell it and he would think it's disgusting.

Like i dont know

Hahhah like how could i be relaxed with my boyfriend when i have to stress all the time that my genitals smell

And even if they wouldn't smell disgusting (they do probably) then even just the fact that they smell at all

Cause vagina is disgusting so if it smells like vagina at all then..... Its disgusting?

 

[qualitymonkey]

HAHHAH every woman i see im always like "eww" even transgender women too

 

[qualitymonkey]

Imagine if eunkwang was a trans woman

Although i dont feel any disgust when he's crossdressing though 😂😂😂😂 hes really cute 😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel disgust in general but i doubt i could feel it towards him ever. Even if we think about a hypothetical scenario where he would be a trans woman or something 😂


This is the reason why in general i could never fall for a girl the way i fell for eunkwang :D i dont respect women, how could i fall in love with one? But him... Its easy for me to like him and adore him cause hes a guy.

I dont see a reason to adore a woman, or at least not as deeply like this. En voi sille mitään että joskus saatan ajatella jotain vaik yuqia mut ei niin kovin usein ja muutenkin, its not so big really. Its kinda different. Tosin outoa että edes senkään vertaa. Jos kerran vihaan naisia niin paljon.

 

[qualitymonkey]

Niin on aika outoa se että pystyy tuntee ees pientä ihastumisen tynkää

 

[qualitymonkey]

Naiseen

 

[qualitymonkey]

Omituista

 

[qualitymonkey]

Mut then again, its not really falling in love the same way as like.. eunkwangie. Cause its more like im in love with him like the whole person fully and completely and like im just so "invested" tai miten se sanotaan öö en tiiä. Tai jotenki with yuqi its more like. Im not in love like..... En oo silleen "im in love with everything about her, i like her completely and deeply"

Then kwang is more like i love everything about him and hes just my world in a way and i kind of i just the way i see him is just heart eyes

Fr katoin videoo jossa se yhes kohtaa näky vaa nopeesti vilaukselta ja olin silleen those eyes like i was blown away because his eyes and idk i was just idk. Hes so ethereal xD no, really theres something weird about it

 

[qualitymonkey]

Like i could never ever worship yuqi or any woman like him

 

[qualitymonkey]

Like i kind of worship him

 

[qualitymonkey]

"Why would somebody be grossed out from their own body. I don't dislike my own vagina"

Yeah, why would somebody be. Ihan uus konsepti näköjään jollekin? Ei ainakaan ku miljoonat ja miljoonat ihmiset pelkästään

 

[qualitymonkey]

Anoreksiakin vissiin ihan vieras konsepti sulle

 

[qualitymonkey]

"Why would somebody be grossed out from their own body. I don't dislike my own vagina"

And maybe because it bleeds which is disgusting?

 

[qualitymonkey]

And shameful

 

[qualitymonkey]

Niiku okei im sorry apparently you have had only appreciation towards you idk where the hell you lived maybe everyone just swooned at the sight of you or something?

 

[qualitymonkey]

I didn't fucking choose a vagina and i think its wrong

I didn't want an organ thats only supposed to be penetrated and birthing a baby

And peeing and stuff but like those are its functions. Maybe that's a big reason why i despise it. Maybe. Cause everytime vaginas are talked about its either the disgusting smell, penetration or giving birth. Usually.